Hip-Hop Muscles

The Tamagotchi will speak to no one today. He does not even read your paper anyway.
We cannot guarantee he will appear at Cannes, but if he does, he'll do no one-to-ones.
He is asleep, and when he wakes he will need to be fed. Then he will sing, and he will go back to bed.
No interviews with Mr. Tamagotchi today. We are dismayed by your attempts to invade his privacy.
Please go away. Please go away. Good-bye.

      Isn't Momus the best? Anyways, I read somewhere that 'Wonderfalls' is trying to get picked up by another network now that Fox has cancelled the show. It's not as though it was even very good. I tried to enjoy it. I think it's difficult for the average TV viewer to identify with an egocentric, anti-social schizophrenic. Jaye's family was cool, though. Maybe they could be spun-off after Jaye gets institutionalized. Thirty minutes of them every week would make me pretty happy. Especially Darrin. TV Dads can be so funny! He's even played by someone who was in 'Shawshank Redemption.'

      I continue to feel sore from that hip-hop class. It's easy to take muscles for granted when they aren't sore. I had no idea that I used my hip-hop muscles so often!

      Mom, David and I went to dinner at the harbour last night. The happy hour menu at Harpoon Henry's (where Phil Shane used to perform!) is half-price until 7pm. They make the very best calamari I've ever had. It's served flat (not in rings, thank you!), pan-fried in tasty breading, and comes with salmon-colored (but not salmon-flavored) dipping sauce and an orchid for Pretty.
      When we arrived, there were only three other parties on the patio: a family on the sunny side; and on the shady side two men and a woman, and another woman sitting alone with her cell phone. We sat on the shady side, 'cause sunshine is mean to me. The woman on the cell was, naturally, obnoxious. She was discussing real estate, I suppose, saying things such as, "Call me when it's in foreclosure." At least one end of her conversation had poor reception, because she kept repeating herself.
      Approximately 10-15 minutes after we arrived, cell-lady completed her call and went to sit with the two men/one woman shady side party. Two of the people were in from the UK on holiday. Cell-lady gabbed to her visiting friends about the cell conversation, as though no one else had heard any of it. She then looked at the menu for a moment and decided that she didn't want anything from Harpoon Henry's. After at least twenty minutes, the group left to seek out another restaurant.

      On the plus side, my new purple Ralph Wiggum "I Wanna Dance" t-shirt fits and is comfy. Sometimes you just have to give-in and buy a faux-vintage tee when 'The Simpsons' are involved.

The Puffy Dash

      I've become far too addicted to the fantasy in my head. I should pay more attention to reality and how to get the most out of that. Focus!
I wonder how long this will last?

      Separately, the hip-hop class at 24hr fitness last night was...good. It totally kicked my v. out-of-shape ass. But I mostly enjoyed it. The bits when I wasn't in pain, mostly. And that song from Speakerboxx. Of course, it's always good to see Steve Sherlock, beyond having a friend in class. Next week I'm sure the class will kick my ass again, but I'll have some idea of what's coming beforehand and be more prepared. I think I can still remember some of the choreography, even!

Steve Gellis asks:

      "Why would a person have a slinky on a water bottle?"

Osment or Cage?

      I was able to find a birthday gift for Barry, a Mother's Day gift for Mom, and fun stuff for Cody and Ally last night. Now I only have Shanna to shop for. That'll be fun, 'cause Shanna looks good in most anything.

      I had to stop reading whichever Wodehouse book I'm in the middle of right when I expect Sippy's true love, Miss Moon, is about to get a sack of flour on her head. Bertie's always causing trouble. That's about the only kind of suspense I can bear. Anything along the lines of waiting for the murderer to find the pretty girl hiding in her closet is too much for me. Because the murderer must find her. That's the way the cinematic world works.
      Those "Lord of the Ring" movies pleasantly surprised me in that regard. It's amazing how often simply hiding works throughout all three of those films. In any other movie, if four characters are huddling together under the roots of a tree, the dark rider is definitely going to find them. They're right there, just under the tree roots. Breathing heavily and everything. Plus, I'm still not sure how Aragorn could have followed the movements of Pippin and Merry during that Orc massacre. It's as though everyone killing and being killed made sure to avoid every place where Merry and Pip had touched ground amongst the blood and chaos. "A hobbit lay here." Sure, pull the other one, Viggo.

      My grey cube is decorated with a row of some buttons I've made. They run along the top of the grey cube particians. (Does that look far too much like 'patricians' to anyone else?) The buttons have pictures of random celebrities. Most aren't in any particular order, but some of them are thematically grouped together: Steve Martin & Flip Wilson, for instance. I also have Sophia Coppola and Spike Jonze right next to each other. Ever since I heard that they broke up, I've been thinking about moving their buttons. But I really like the idea of them being together. Seeing their buttons next to each other does remind me of their relationship's current state, but also reminds me of their relationship's former state. Back when they were hot young directors; supremely cool in that indie-but-on-the-cusp-of-mainstream way. But their buttons are flanked by Ewan McGregor in "Moulin Rouge" and John Turturro in "The Big Lebowski," so that helps ease the pain.
      On the topic of Coppola buttons, one has a picture of Nicholas Cage at about, say, 7 years old, give or take. He looks uncannily similar to Haley Joel Osment. And all of those Osment kids are kind of odd-looking. It's just a strange coincidence, is all I'm writing.

Ron puts the 'cray' in 'Crane'

      If you want to know why I've been pretty darn happy since yesterday evening, click here.

      Now that I've copied down the lyrics to 'The End of History,' 'Smooth Folk Singer's' stuck in my head. At least I like Momus.

      Mom showed me a new place to go for a walk and we passed a beautiful wanna-Japanese courtyard house. Instead of paper, they used glass. The garden was immaculate. I love courtyard houses of all types. Too bad no one makes cookie-cutter subdivisions of those. sigh.

      My new 'Hue' brand trouser socks haven't slipped down once today. I love what they're doing with hosiery and hosiery accessories. I look forward to another round of their patterned panyhose. I especially like the pinstriped ones I bought last year. They sold out pretty quickly, though.
Sadness and hope for the future.

      Now I just have to figure out what to get Shanna and Barry for their birthdays. I know what to send Cody and Ally. The humans are always more difficult to shop for.

That knock-off Versace corset dress at Rampage is hot, but trampy. Oh well.

Fresh

      The old blog disappeared. Blame the hosting service. I didn't update often, so this is a chance to mend my blog-slacker ways.

      I usually eat PB&J for lunch, but had provolone on squaw bread today. I have since had four Reese's peanut butter cups and want more. I must remember not to skip PB&J in the future.

      'The Ladykillers' has a funny and smart orange kitty. Highly recommended. Please be sure to laugh aloud, though, as the audience I attended the film with did not and therefore creeped me out.

      I almost never wear make-up, but as my Aunt Christine was visiting and had to shop at Sephora, I had to shop at Sephora. I spent $60 on beauty supplies. That's about the only good thing about Christine living in another state: I can't go shopping with her often. The marigold eyeliner looks really nice, though.

      I can't get The End of History off of Momus' '20 Vodka Jellies' out of my head. Sadly, I only know three lines: "I'll be yours and you'll be mine at the end of history. Through the darkness we will shine. Never lose your love for me." There's something else about stars and whatnot, but that's all my memory holds. Must learn Momus lyrics!

      The 'Arrested Development' TWoPCon is humming along nicely. Already a dozen of us will be there. A dozen!

      The clock on my phone went missing when I tried to change it to reflect daylight savings time. Only now do I realize how often I checked my phone for the time. Looking at the bottom right corner of the computer screen seems like far too much effort. I am so pathetically bourgeoisie. I even had to use Meriam-Webster Online to check the spelling of that.

      Tonight I get to watch my VHS of "Best Man for the GOB," last night's episode of 'Arrested Development,' and begin my script-to-screen comparison.

      Are you as over StringingWordsTogetherWithInitialCaps as I am? It must come to an end. Now. The bubble burst years ago.

      Ta!